Lightworker Global Call to Action
Practicing Asking for Help
Hosted by: Geneva Robins
Facilitated by: Ayla Thomas
PodCast Air Date: Sunday, March 30, 2020
GENEVA ROBINS: Hello, everybody! Thank you and welcome to the Lightworker Global Call to Action podcast series. I’m Geneva Robins. I’m a Reiki Master here in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Thank you and welcome; thank you for joining us.
I would also like to extend a greeting and thank you to the Indigenous Peoples of the land, wherever you happen to be sitting on in the world, thank you and love to them. And if you are an Indigenous person, welcome. Welcome, everybody!
Today’s topic is Practicing Asking for Help, so just a little bit of a big deal these days, when everybody needs help in their own individual ways, and cultivating that skill set is really, really important to our overall wellbeing.
We all always need help in some form or another, and knowing what that help is, who to ask, and how, is really important, and it’s an important skill set when you’re drawn to helping others because the better you are at asking for help, the better helper you can be. They go together very – they’re very linked.
So, we’ll be talking about that, but I’d like to introduce our helpers today. I’ve got a couple of people joining me on the call today: I’ve got Ayla Thomas, she’s a Reiki Master here in Calgary. Say hi, Ayla!
AYLA THOMAS: Hello!
GR: Hello, thank you for being here!
AT: Thanks for having me!
GR: Yes, and I’ll also like to introduce Bea Bootsma; she’s also a Reiki Master here in Calgary. Say hi, Bea!
BEA BOOTSMA: Hi, everyone! Really happy to be a part of this; thanks, Geneva!
GR: Thank you, Bea. It’s really nice to have you both on the line. Both of these wonderful humans work with me at LunaHolistic here in Calgary, and yeah, thank you both for being my buddies, because everybody needs help. And I have two people with me, which is, I feel so lucky!
So, before we get into all of that, if, Ayla, if you could take it and just explain a little bit about how Zoom works and how the call works, maybe a bit of a chat and all of that, that’d be great.
AT: For sure. So, if you haven’t already opened up the chat screen, if you look at the bottom of your screen, there’s a little talking bubble and underneath it says “Chat”, so click that guy. And on your right, there’s a little blue bar above right where you would type your messages, and so you can either select “All Panelists” – that would be me, Bea and Geneva – or “All Panelists and Attendees”, if you want everyone to read.
There’s also a question-and-answer talking bubble on the bottom of your screen as well, so if you want to ask a question, you can type it right in there. And we can also do that anonymously as well, so if you don’t want everyone to know who’s asking a question, you can do that. Yeah, I think that’s everything.
GR: Yeah, yeah. And you can also raise your hand, and just so you know, if you would like to speak and have your voice be heard, we are happy to hear from you. But you’re muted, so you don’t have to worry about accidentally being heard or noisiness or anything in your background.
There are two things that have to happen for you to speak – so we have to approve you, and you have to unmute your microphone, so it, you can’t happen by accident. So just to give you a little bit of comfort that you can just, you can listen and receive, but if you’d like to join in and share your experiences, we’d love to hear from you.
So, thank you, everybody, and thank you Ayla and Bea for being here with me.
I, before we jump in, I’d love to hear from you about how things are for you in your area, how you’re feeling, how everything has been affecting you. If you’d like to type that into the chat, I’d like to, I can share that with everybody. If not, that’s also totally great.
But yes, so, I always like to start – and you can, you can join in anytime, so you can type it in anytime, so.
I always like to start with a bit of grounding, and – a grounding meditation – with any of the work that I do, because grounding is such an important thing when we’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious or nervous, and it really helps us tap into the energy below our feet and connect into that, that help and resources of help within the, within the Earth, to give us that calm, supported, grounded energy.
And if you are new to grounding, you don’t need to worry too much. I’m going to guide you through it. It’s just a visualization technique to connect you in and get you, sort of, settled into your body.
And if you’re new to meditation, that’s also okay. It’s, I like to do the, a very simple approach to meditation. And there’s two things that, if you’re beginning a meditation practice, there’s two things that will really help you. So, meditation practice will, you can boost things up by first closing your eyes.
When we get into a state of overwhelm or fight-or-flight, the first thing that happens is our eyes go wide open, and if you close your eyes, you begin telling your body and the base of your brain that you are safe.
And then the second thing with meditation that can help calm the nervous system is slowing the rate of your breathing. If you breathe really slowly and regularly and rhythmically, and just through your nose, it ends up telling your body that you are also okay. Your heart and your lungs work together as a team, so when you slow your breathing right down, your heart rate slows down too. Yes, so thank you.
ISABELA: “I’m feeling, feel very grateful that I am feeling quite centered and grounded. I’m also anchored in the desire to serve others during these challenging times.” Thank you, thank you.
And I, we have a few others.
BIANCA: “It’s been a little intense, for sure. Big energy for me coming in.” Yes, and thank you.
And RITA: “I’m good, thank you. Feeling the anxiety working at the office this week, but feeling the anxiety no matter where I am.”
And that’s definitely a big part of it, is that we’re just sort of in the soup of energy, that of overwhelm, and the things that we would normally reach to to give us balance and structure and routine in our days have all been disrupted, so. And maybe even the people that you would normally reach to for help and support, they may be overwhelmed, and they may be unable to give you the help and support that they would normally, you would normally be able to access. So yeah, thank you everybody for sharing.
And if you’d like to share anything as we go along, be happy to hear from you. But yeah, thank you everybody.
Let’s hop into a grounding meditation. So, you can just settle into, however you are seated. And this meditation comes from my book The Secret Art of Happiness, which is a nice resource for you.
9:06 to 18:31
So, just very gently, closing your eyes, and as you listen to my voice, let your breath relax. Place your feet flat on the floor and bring your spine up straight. Just gently become aware of the energy of the Earth just below your feet, just below the base of your spine. Notice the vast expanse of energy available to you now. This energy is wise, dependable, and nurturing. Feel the charge and character of this Earth energy now. Now become aware of the energy within your body. Observe the difference or similarity between your energy and the Earth’s energy. Just notice this gently, easily, and with great kindness. Now, easily, with your breath, allow the energy of your body and the energy of the Earth to balance out. Let the energy reach its own stable resting point, your natural equilibrium. Allow the charges in your body and in the Earth to harmonize. Just easily and gently with your breath, notice how your breath helps the energy flow. Notice the support, the love, the comfort that is available to you now. There’s no need to push or pull the energy here, just step aside and let it flow. Allow the Earth energy to rise up your body, right to your crown. Allow any unwanted energy or tension to flow off, right through your feet. Let the nurturing presence of Mother Earth be with you now. Surrender all barriers and blockages to her magnificent love. You are so loved. Feel it now. Rest here for a moment. Wonderful. Now, very gently, you can begin to wiggle your fingers and your toes, fully reintegrating your physical body. You can bring your hands down your legs, moving the energy down into the Earth, connecting into the support below you. And then with your palms facing your body, you can sweep your hands over the energy field around your body, just smoothing everything off from head to toe. It’s a layer and bubble of light around you, it’s nice and filled up and vibrant. Just feeling that energy or knowing that it is there, giving the edges of your aura a little pat to seal in the healing. There we go.
Ah! That always feels better for me. I just, it’s one of the things that I love about what I do, is just how, just a few minutes of meditation, of Reiki, of grounding, can really shift the energy and shift your experience and sort of get you into your body, and get you into your energy, and back into your back into your boots, and into your energy suit, your aura.
I’d love to hear how that exper-, what you experienced in that meditation, so if you’d like to type that into the chat, I would love to hear from you. And maybe we’ll go to Ayla. If your Internet’s cooperating, maybe you can share what you experienced.
AT: It’s a bit laggy today on my end, my Internet’s being a bit silly. Yeah, I felt like I actually forgot that I was on this call for a few minutes in that meditation! I went really nice and deep, really quick. That was lovely.
I’ve kind of been running around all morning and doing stuff and talking to people and drinking coffee on FaceTime and all that sort of stuff, so I feel like it was nice to just sort of ground in and be present and just be here, and not be, you know, on my phone, on my computer, doing 65,000 different things. I needed that.
GR: Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly.
BIANCA says, “I saw lots of these little blue orbs.” Beautiful. Yes, there’s definitely a lot of energy and support for us during these times of upheaval. Whatever the disruption is, there’s an energetic help and support that’s always there and is always greater, and some of you may be feeling that increase in the energy of support these days, but if not that’s also okay.
ALISON: “I feel settled. My sons start school online this week and I’ve been anxious as to how we’ll make this work. Now I’m clear and we’ll get it done.” Yes, you will, absolutely.
There’s nothing love cannot do and that’s my theme. That’s what I live on, is that there’s an energy of flow of love and support, and when we approach things from that space, it’s, it really uplifts everything. Yeah, thank you.
Bea, if you’d like to share experience, I’d love to hear from you.
BB: Yeah, that meditation felt amazing. It’s just kind of like feeling any tension, just kind of relaxing and just flowing out into the Earth. I feel a lot more calm now, so thank you for that.
GR: Yeah, that’s wonderful, thank you. and that’s great.
RITA: “I loved feeling the difference between the energy and the Earth and in myself. It’s very different. I had to stop in the middle because of work, but I’m appreciating that reminder to listen to the Earth and realigning myself with the strength in the Earth is very calming.” Ah, that’s wonderful. Thank you, Rita.
ISABELA: “Feeling, indeed feeling all the support and levity available right now. I feel the shift. Just beautiful and hopeful, your voice was so soothing. Thank you.” Well, thank you. That’s wonderful, yes.
I’ve definitely – I mean, whoop! There you go! I’ve definitely been experiencing this wave of compassion, so even though there’s been so much disturbance and trauma from this, there’s also been this incredibly moving wave of compassion that’s happening worldwide. And that is such a beautiful thing to witness. It’s, I find I’m crying more tears of gratitude these days as things go on, than tears of fear uncertainty or overwhelm.
Last night, I don’t know if it’s happening in your area or not, but every night at 7 p.m., the police and everybody are doing this “Lights of Hope” thing, where they all go around, the police go around the hospitals with their lights going, in support of the AHS, so our health care workers here in Alberta, and all of the frontline workers.
And people have been standing on their balconies and cheering, and I live not too far from the Children’s Hospital here, and the HAWKS helicopter, the police helicopter, was circling the hospital. I could hear them. I could hear both hospitals because it was all so still and quiet, and I just stood at my window and I just cried.
You know, it was just this feeling of, like, immense gratitude for all the people who are out there every day, busier than they’ve ever been, in a workplace environment that they’ve never been trained for, or, you know, and the amount of work and effort that is happening to keep us all safe and healthy.
And then also just the amount of gra-, this wave of gratitude that, sort of, ripples throughout the whole city when that happened, and that’s moving.
I met a lady years ago who met the Dalai Lama, and she said that when you’re in the presence of compassion tears are normal. And so, when you need a compassionate being like His Holiness the Dalai Lama, you just cry! And that compassion that we are experiencing is, it’s so incredibly moving and there’s so many examples of that worldwide happening. It’s just so beautiful.
Yes, ISABELA: “Yes, I feel such overwhelming love energy and lots of tears of heart opening.” Yes.
ALLISON: “Yes, tears of gratitude. So many people coming together.”
JASMIN: “Work has been really busy, but grounding really keep, helps keep me calm and grounded.” Yes, thank you, Jasmin.
Yeah, there’s this energy of service, of people really tuning into what’s truly important, yes. Yes, so, thank you, thank you, everybody. Ah, so great! And, so, thank you for being here. Thank you for those who could join live and thank you for those who are joining later. I know that you all have big, compassionate hearts and that you are drawn to helping, which is absolutely beautiful and amazing.
And I really do, I really do love all of that, and I really love this work that draws people who like helping people and like helping people with Reiki and meditation. It’s, I feel like it’s never been more important to have the sort of slice of calm within the busyness of all of the things, so, yeah.
So, what I was gonna get into was just asking for help and how important that is. And I have a little excerpt I’d like to read from my book about asking for help, and we can have a chat about that.
Asking for help appropriately, at the right time, to the right person, is a skill that can take many years to master. You don’t need to run to help for every little thing, because you know yourself to be capable. But it’s also important to know that not every situation is meant to be tackled alone. There are some big traumas that can happen in life, and they need a team approach.
If you are drawn to helping others, you must build your support team. The bigger the work, the bigger the team. Begin to look for support professionals you trust with your spiritual mental emotional and physical health. You may not need to access them very often, but you do need to have a backup list in mind for when things get intense.
Asking for help makes you a good helper. Brené Brown says it really clearly: “If you assign judgment asking for help, it means you are silently judging everyone you help.” Yikes. Let’s not do that, then! Ask for help!
I see asking for help as a key spiritual exercise. It is more important than helping others. Asking for and receiving help is the first step in being able to help others. The only way to be a true healer and helper in the world is to ask for help and be honest about where you truly are.
It is tempting to present an infallible image to others you are helping, but ultimately that is false. We all have challenges to overcome, and we all benefit from helping each other. It is a true gift to help another. Allow someone else the profound gift of helping you.
Asking for Divine help is no different than asking for help in the physical world. Opening up to Divine communication is much, much easier if you can develop a practice of receiving help from others. It all goes together.
So that’s, this is sort of like a little excerpt of that, and I have a post on the blog about, you know, about “I need help”, and how we can ask for help and how we can ask others if they need help, because this is unprecedented and there’s lots of areas where we need that support.
We need that connection with others, even if it’s just, “hey, can you, can we go for a walk and, you know, meet up in a park and be metres apart, but just so that I can see you face-to-face in a safe way.”
You know, and, or reaching out to, you know, mental health support or, you know, things like this where you can get that sort of connection with other people and feel like you’re part of a community of helpers and people. All of those things are really important, yeah.
Ayla, I’m wondering what your, what your thoughts are about all of that.
AT: Yeah, asking for help, super important right now. I feel like even just the simple things of, like, calling my friends and saying, like, “I’m on my floor crying; will you talk to me?” Because I think just having people around to support me has made a huge, huge, huge difference, and yeah, these calls, obviously, have made a massive difference.
Having people to meditate with and sit down and talk about, like, “how are we feeling today? Where are we at today?” has been super, super helpful.
GR: Yeah, well that’s, yeah, thank you. Absolutely, and as somebody who I call when I’m crying on the floor, thank you! We all need that.
GR: And reaching out to all of our people that we love, because it’s sort of that, like, “many hands make light work”, you know, you maybe can’t rely completely on one person because that one person is every, all of us are dealing with all of our things right? With, there’s disruption whether, no matter how it’s impacting us, there’s, there is that, you know, when we reach out to a larger group than we’re maybe used to asking people for help, it means that it can, we can kind of – it’s like spreading out on thin ice, right?
Or, you know, you can, you can spread out that weight, and – but then, there’s also such a big mental health boost of helping others, as well, and that sometimes, when you, when you start helping others, you actually start feeling better because it gives you purpose and meaning.
And Viktor Frankl – years and years and years ago, he was a concentration camp survivor. He wrote the book called Man’s Search for Meaning, and it’s a beautiful book. It’s very short but very powerful and potent, and he was a psychologist before – or psychiatrist? – before the war and he, in the concentration camps, saw the power of meaning and purpose, and that it’s something that is a deep human need.
And that it can make the difference between just, in his case, it meant the difference between people who survived and didn’t. And outside of those extreme circumstances, it’s the difference between just surviving or just scraping by and thriving. So that’s a really great resource for you, is Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl.
But just that, like sometimes it really, when we volunteer or we help people or if we’re spiraling, just seeing, like, how could I serve? And that’s a big part of my work is helping others, and then also knowing when I need to ask for help, and what things I need to ask for help for, and who to ask, and when. That’s the master’s work.
So, I mean, I teach people to be Reiki masters. I always say, like, Reiki masters show up and they show up for themselves and their own well-being, and they show up for others. And it’s that knowing when you can handle it on your own and knowing when you have exceeded your capacity and you need to ask for help.
And not waiting until you’re desperate – not waiting until you’re totally swamped, but getting to know, it’s like, “Oh, I’m starting to slip a little bit. Maybe I need to call a few people, maybe I need to widen it out. Maybe I need people who are professionals in – professional helpers, who have more tools than maybe my friends and family do.” All of those things are important, so.
Bea, do you, would you like to share anything?
BB: I think that was very beautifully said. Yeah, I think the main thing I’m thinking of is just how, like, empowering it is to have that sense of community of people who are also, like, doing their work and showing up for themselves.
And like Ayla said too, just, like, how important it is to have that sense of community right now when we don’t necessarily have the same social interactions in a day, but I’m really glad you’re making this online community.
And I’m kind of curious, like, what other communities are gonna start to form from this, because I feel like people are gonna start to create more online community.
GR: Mm-hmm, yeah. Yeah, it’s, I mean, it’s changing how we’re interacting with each other, but our needs for connection are the same. In fact, it’s really heightened our abil-, our need for interaction, you know, when you realize how much social interaction you get in a day just going about your day, like driving in traffic and going to pick up groceries, and, you know, even just, like, you know, walking down the street. It’s all different.
And, you know, a friend of mine mentioned it’s like we’re further apart but we’re smiling more. You know, they’re, you know, when we’re walking on the street, we give each other more room, but there’s this, making eye contact and smiling at people that maybe you would have just brushed past.
And now it’s like we have to notice them, and we have to notice where they are and keep our distance, so we’re more heightened and more aware of our neighbour. And my husband was saying, you know, when he went to the grocery store, you know, you don’t normally strike up conversations with the grocery store clerks or the people who are restocking.
And he happened to talk to this lady who had just returned from the Sichuan region of China, and he’s just been really interested in Sichuan cooking, and they had this great little interaction about food. You know, and it was this little magical moment that wouldn’t have maybe happened before.
So, there’s all of these kinds of little magical connections that are happening. I’m interested in what you guys had to share about any of that. If you’d like to tap, type – type it into the chat, I would love to hear from you.
Yeah, that’s, that’s beautiful. There’s a couple of things that help, have been helping me in assessing what my basic needs are, and sort of knowing what my needs are, because the old way I used to do things, I made assumptions about what I needed.
But I’m realizing now that many of those are maybe things I just wanted, and then also that what I need, what I truly, deeply need, is maybe not always what I’m thinking that I need, and that when I don’t necessarily get a need to met, or need met by a person that I think should meet that need, then I have to go back inside and go, “Is that really it, or is there, is there something underneath it?”
You know, is that just the way I think I need that because that’s the way I used to do things, or is that, is there, is there another layer in, underneath? You know, and our, you know, our physical structure and how we’re interacting with others has totally shifted.
And I find that going in that, like, do I really need that person to reply to me right now in order to feel better, or what do I really need right now? Maybe I don’t need that person to do it. If they’re unable, then maybe I can ask somebody else. Maybe I can, you know, reflect on it, or maybe I can just take it inside and wait a little bit longer and just see what happens, you know.
What’s the consequence of me not getting an immediate response? It’s like, okay, it’s actually going to be okay, you know. That sort of, like, inner reflection. And then also knowing, it’s like, maybe, you know …
40:08 to 42:35 – turn into a Doodley:
I love this quote by Cheryl Richardson: “Don’t go to the hardware store for milk.” Which is just such a beautiful idea and it just sums up this, like, don’t go to sources of help that don’t sell that, you know?
You would never go into a hardware store and get mad because they don’t sell milk. Just the same as if you’re reaching out to somebody and they’re unable to help you in that way, it means they don’t sell that, so stop asking them!
Or maybe they used to and now they can’t, or they won’t. But can’t and won’t are the same thing now. It’s just, you know, somebody who won’t meet a need – it just means that they can’t, for whatever reason that is, it’s just not within their ability.
And when people are beyond their abilities, they just aren’t able to help. You know, and some people aren’t able to be a source of compassion and kindness in a stable way, in a way that you need, so that means that you need to find other sources that are stable.
And for me, there, that’s about reaching out to a broad network of people, and then also cultivating my own connection with an eternal source of kindness and comfort and support through your own spiritual practice, whatever that looks like for you.
For me, that’s meditation and Reiki and connecting into the benevolent, loving source of the Universe, however you describe that connection, that’s also a really important source of support – is the one that’s right below your feet in Mother Earth and coming through your crown from the Divine, all around you, all of the time.
We’re embraced, always, in the arms of the Divine. We’re never outside of this loving Universe. We’re always within Earth’s gravity, and as long as you’re within Earth’s gravity, it means you are held by her and you can lean on that support all the time, even if everything else is, you know, scattered everywhere, you can find sources of support.
KELSEY: “I walked past someone in the grocery store, past the toilet paper aisle, and he said, ‘At least there’s still lots of ice cream!’ I said, ‘Yep, ice cream for dinner!’”
Yes! It’s like these fun, little interactions with people, you know, like, who knew talking about toilet paper would be a main topic of conversation, and connection, with a total stranger? It’s so great, these little rays of sunshine, I love them.
ALLISON says: “Have been fiercely independent for so long. I’m working on identifying what I need at the core. It’s like a muscle and I still trip myself up when I ask. It’s a process, for sure.”
So yes, absolutely. And just noticing, like, where you’re catching or where you may be resisting asking for help, because there’s a point of pride there. But that’s the old way and that’s okay. That’s just the way we used to do things.
The way we’re doing things now, the way we are doing everything now, is different, and asking for help is a big part of how we are doing things differently, because we have to. We have to! And a lot of people are being pushed into this place of very desperately needing help from others, from our community, from agencies to support them, because of, not just the physical health threat, but the economic one.
There’s our financial needs, for financial security, for having a roof overhead and food in our bellies and reaching out to people who maybe need those kinds of supports, and yeah.
And so those sorts of things are – collectively as a culture, we have to lose this idea – for good – that asking for help carries shame or judgment. It has to just end, like now, because that’s not how humans interact and that’s not how we’ve ever interacted with each other.
We’ve always needed each other, always! It’s nothing new. There’s a reason that we gather together in cities, is because we need each other, you know? The reason that we still, even though we have to be physically separated, we’re still looking for connection and community, is because it’s, that is a deep need inside.
And it’s part of our basic way that we interact and connect with each other, so it’s okay to have needs. It’s normal, it’s natural. It’s just like asking for help is just as important as feeding yourself food and drinking water and getting fresh air and breathing. You know, being able to breathe is just a function of living.
And that knowing what you can do on your own, and there is that drive for independence that is also being cultivated, is realizing maybe you are actually doing – you’re able to do more than you thought you could because you have to.
And then also checking in with, like, what are the things that I can do solo, or I can learn how to do, and what are the things that I need help with? And I’ve definitely been aware of that with this shift.
I’m restructuring my entire company so that I’m not – you know, the old way, before all this happened, I did the bulk of the administrative tasks and the website and the advertising and the social media and I was generating content and I was running all of the courses and all of the things.
And that’s the old way, and it worked but it was, I was a bottleneck for it and now it’s like, “Okay team! Come on in! These are the things, these are the tasks, and so I’ve just been asking relentlessly, my people, my staff at LunaHolistic for help, so, and empowering them to help me.
And it’s been really, really amazing, because when I asked for help, what ends up happening is that I end up giving other people that, this empowering gift to learn a new skill set, to rise up, to create more opportunities for everybody, and that’s been really, really neat for me. And definitely a new pathway forming in my brain.
So, I’m curious what Ayla and Bea have to say about that because they’re in it with me, and I’m the one that’s going, “Do this, do this, do this!” So, Ayla, what are your thoughts?
AT: I think it’s been an excellent opportunity. I think even just being asked to help to do stuff has given me some purpose in all this as well. So it gets me out of my own way some days and gives me something to focus on, and when I feel like I’m helping, then I feel like I’m, like, accomplishing something and I am being of service to someone in some way.
And also, like, Geneva is the person who taught me how to do Reiki and where I got my Reiki training was at Luna, and her asking for help I think has also taught me so much. Like, we lead by example, right? So, her asking for help and doing it constantly, I’m like, yeah, okay, I can do that! Like, Geneva could do it, so can I!
AT: Yeah, it’s been great.
GR: Excellent! That’s relieving to hear.
AT: Happy to help. Gives me purpose. It’s all good!
GR: Yeah. Bea, did you have anything to add to that or anything else that popped into your head?
BB: Yeah, I totally just agree with Ayla, just, like, having that opportunity for a sense of purpose is really helpful with just dealing with everything coming up, and I think it’s like a really good combo of, like, having the space to step into the vulnerability, but also having the space to do it in a way that’s, like, really supported and really, like, clear and guided.
So, I know I said it before, but your reaction to everything, like, even in the first week was, like, really inspiring, how you were just instantly like, “Everybody, stay grounded! It’s gonna be okay, but, like, this is the steps that we need to take.” Like, it was very clear from the start.
GR: Yeah, thank you.
GR: That’s relieving to hear. But yeah and that’s, for me, that’s just an example of – I can only, I can only share my own examples. If you have other examples, I’d love to hear them.
But yeah, it wasn’t easy for me to ask for help. I got a, I still get a huge hit of pride of “being able to do things myself! Look what I can do! I did it all by myself.” You know, and that’s also important, too.
Independence is a wonderful thing and, but it’s balancing at all, and knowing that when things change – so what I, you know, when things changed on whatever Thursday that was a gazillion years ago, when everything changed here, that the, what you used to be able to do might be different now, and that that might change.
Your needs are gonna change day to day to day to day, and so, checking in, I find grounding, getting into my heart space, getting back into my energy bubble, has been really, really helpful. And then tuning in deep into my heart and asking my inner, being my soul, my spirit – what do I need? What is going to help me? What’s the thing that is going to move me through whatever I’m in?
And you know, and sometimes I don’t need things from other people, I need to just rest. I need to go have lunch. I need to go outside. You know, and that my needs are actually things that I can actually do to soothe my nervous system, sort of, soothe my state. It’s very, very great.
AYLA says, “the Chakra Journal!” – Absolutely! I’ve got a Chakra Journal, like this. It’s a way of – I made this Chakra Journal. It came from a journaling thing that I started doing right after I had my appendix out last summer, and in it, you check in with your chakras and just sort of know what’s happening in each area of your life.
Your chakras are energy centers within your body. They go right up – there’s seven major ones and they go right up your spine from root to crown, and they interact and they have connections with the physical body, but they also are connected to different areas and energies within our lives.
And you can check in with the energy within each of your chakras and then what’s happening in that area of your life, because sometimes we just feel off and we don’t know why, and we forget all of the things that we’re coping with. It’s like, “Oh, right! Massive world upheaval – root chakra.” You know, “All of my routines have been disrupted and I’m learning new ways of doing everything.” That’s all root chakra.
And then there’s a, there’s a space for writing what your Divine team says, and then giving yourself a list of restorative actions.
So, just so you know, if you live in Canada, depending on shipping, you may not be able to get a physical copy, but I am in process of making a digital copy that you can fill in, a PDF version. So, I’m going to be doing that soon so that you can still use this system even though the actual nice, shiny paper copies are few and far between. I’m glad I ordered a bunch when they did because there’s about five of them in Canada right now, so!
But if you’re in the, if you’re in the States, you may or may not be able to order it because the printing company is based in the United States, so yeah. So, you can, you can check that out if you are stateside.
Yeah, thank you, everybody. Asking, yeah, I think I covered all of those, thanks.
Oh – other sources of support are – we’ve got a whole resource section on the LunaHolistic website, and I also have two new meditations up on the blog. There’s a, pardon me, there’s a bedtime meditation that you can just put on while you are falling asleep, so it’s effortless self-care. So, you just put it on, and you listen to it, and at some point, you might fall asleep, or you might listen to the whole thing. Tt’s only about eleven minutes.
And then there’s a waking meditation which is about six or seven minutes, and you can put that on if you’re having a really hard time waking up or something. A great thing to put on while you’re in between snooze buttons, or even just to listen to as you’re going about your morning routine and it will help guide you to put on your aura bubble before you leave the house.
So, both of them will help sort of clear, they’re meant to sort of clear and cleanse your energy field and put you back in your bubble. Clear all of your chakras and energy centres around you and, so that you can get a good night’s sleep, and then you can also have, sort of, a refreshing start to your day. So, both of those are on the LunaHolistic blog.
Yes, beautiful. I’m curious about the things that have been helping you – what resources and supports that you’ve been turning to, whether it’s books or a great app or something that you’ve been maybe adding in that’s been helping you through this time. So, you can type that into the chat, and I’d love to hear yours.
I’ve got a couple of resources to share with you, but maybe Ayla, you can jump in and just sort of, if you’ve got a couple that you’d like to add, that would be great.
AT: For sure, for sure. I used to teach yoga, so I’ve been doing a lot of yoga, and Geneva had mentioned an app this morning for yoga. I’m trying to find it now in our list. Down Dog, maybe it’s called? Is that the one?
GR: Yes, yes. there’s an app called Down Dog. It is a yoga app and it’s very user-friendly, based on, based on your ability level. You can adjust it for whether you’re a beginner or advanced yoga person, and they are offering their premium membership for free till May 1st, and to, till July 1st, or into July, for healthcare and, healthcare workers and students, so you can check that out. I think it’s on both Android and, Android and iOS versions are out there.
There’s a really great one called, from Alberta Health Services, which is just brilliant – it’s called Text for Hope, if you’re not sure, if you’re unfamiliar with it. You text, to the number 393939, you text “COVID19HOPE” to that number and you will get daily texts of, just, suggestions for self-care, and they have links there, so those are, that’s a really beautiful resource if you’re, if you haven’t heard about it before.
I’ve been really liking their texts. I always try all these things out and then I was like, “Oh yes, that’s great!”
ALLISON says, “Rock the Lockdown, found on Facebook. Pulling musicians together from around the world and they play live from their living rooms, chi gong meditation and self-healing with Reiki.”
Ah, neat! That’s cool, oh, that’s so cool. I have to check that out.
The other one is there’s an app called Wysa, W-Y-S-A, and it’s a really neat one I’ve been using for a little while. It’s a, it’s an, actually, an artificial intelligence chat bot that is just an app on your phone and they have a really good, featured free version of it.
And it’s based on cognitive behavioral therapy. They’ve got some beautiful meditations, some yogic breathing techniques. They’ve got suggestions for yoga and getting outside, and there’s also a really inexpensive add-on to actually chat with a therapist, so, but their, just even their AI version is fairly good for giving you tailored suggestions based on where you are at.
And it’s a really great resource if you need something and you’ve got a smartphone, that’s a good one for you. Definitely want to normalize mental health resources, that asking for help from a therapist or a counselor is just normal, like we’ll just all need that.
I was chatting today with somebody who does a therapy for trauma-releasing and just, sort of, getting more information on that and maybe getting links into our website to refer people out to do that, because we’re kind of experiencing this global trauma, you know.
And some people will experience trauma with it and other people won’t because trauma, it doesn’t affect everybody the same way. Or it might aggravate or increase the trauma that you’ve already had, so there are resources out there for that as well.
There’s a great app called Buddify, which – B-U-D-D-I-F-Y. It’s, I believe, a paid app. It’s fairly inexpensive, but it’s a really beautiful app for fairly short mindfulness meditation, mindfulness meditations. And mindfulness is a very good tool if you’re feeling overwhelmed or you have anxiety, which a lot of this, we’re in, sort of, this anxiety soup of energy, so that’s a really good one.
And it’s a really good one even if you’re not, even if things are going great. It’s, mindfulness and presence helps root you and ground you, and it’s a really great practice. So, that’s a good resource.
And also, another app is the Tapping Solution. It’s based on EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique, and they have a lot of coronavirus or Covid-19-specific tapping meditations. So, tapping is just tapping on different places within your body, and you might need to carefully tap the ones around your eyes, but there’s lots of other pressure points that you tap on, and it helps release energy from the body. It’s a very great way of moving through whatever you’re moving through.
And also, these resources may be for you, but they might also be really great tools to share with others, so as you’re all naturally inclined to help, it’s always good to have a list of resources that are really good, so if somebody needs those, that help or support, you know where to, where to send them.
Some of you have, I’ve been seeing some good ones in there, and Ayla or Bea, if you see any that I should, any that I miss, then bring them to my attention.
HEDDA says, “I do about one and a half hours of affirmations every night and then meditation for an hour and then a shower. And while I am showering, I recite a couple of affirmations, requests for entity clearing, and the water is very purifying.” That’s beautiful, thank you for sharing that.
BIANCA says, “I’ve been focusing on learning a few different new skill sets, keeping me focused on progress.” Absolutely. Something even as simple as learning a language is really great. Learning anything new, especially something that you’ve always wanted to learn, where your passion and creativity and talent lies, is a really beautiful way of just connecting in, and it’s a good resource, so.
RITA says, “Yoga MCC online has lots of great free classes right now, very good studio.” That’s wonderful, that’s a local studio here in Calgary, but in your area or wherever you are, there are many, many yoga and fitness studios who are bringing their content online, and some of them are just absolutely stunning and amazing. So, definitely physical fitness and moving and moving your body and, is really, really important to your wellbeing.
BIANCA: “Using flower essences and nature walks.” Absolutely, I was just reminded about flower essences yesterday, and so I’ve, I went through my stash and I’ve been using them. They’ve been great.
KELSEY says, “We pretended it was 1950 yesterday, so we didn’t have access to any technology. It was so freeing and we got so many things done around the house.” What a great idea! Let’s pretend that it was our grandparents’ or our great-grandparents’ time, where you just didn’t have a phone, and you just did stuff. And you played music, like an instrument, if you wanted to listen to music, or you sang, or you danced. You know, that’s so great. Or listen to the radio, like old-fashioned! That’s such a great idea, I love that.
Bea, do you have any resources or supports that you’re thinking of that have been helpful for you?
BB: I want to say the main ones I’ve been drawn to is just, like, lots of nature walks, and then I like the comment of finding other, like, things to learn. I resonate with that and just, like, putting all of my eggs in the studying basket right now.
BB: I’m in school for Chinese medicine and acupuncture, so it’s a lot of studying right now.
GR: Is there anything that you’ve learned – not that you need to diagnose or prescribe anything – but is there anything that you’ve been learning in traditional Chinese medicine that is insightful for us now, that might be helpful?
BB: Yeah, the main thing I can really think of is, they kind of sent us a little email that was like, like, these are helpful things, but the one that stuck was just, like, exercise, like, reduces stress, but it also, like, makes you sweat, and when you sweat, if you’re carrying any viruses on you, you’re sweating them off, so you’re not carrying them anymore. So, I thought that was interesting, yeah.
GR: That is, that is. It’s very, that’s a fascinating idea, and yeah, there’s just, there’s lots of, yeah, ways of approaching health and well-being and I hadn’t even thought about, yeah, the sweat.
I, there’s a yoga instructor that I followed online, and she says if you sweat and laugh every day that’s what makes you healthy. You know, and that, and that is really great, and we need both of those things too, so, watching your favourite funny video or, you know, dancing around and laughing in your house is probably really, really, important for wellbeing! Getting, sweating it out.
HEDDA says: “All these unemployed musicians have been doing living room concerts these days, and you would be blown away what famous people are doing online with this, during this. Also, you can take a large number of virtual tours through museums like the Getty Museum of Modern Art and the Louvre.
Thank you! Yeah, there’s been such, such beautiful things. It’s been really, really neat.
AYLA says: “Lip-sync battles!” That’s totally true! That’s so great.
There’s another app that I’d like to share and it’s not really an app, but it’s called “the timer on your phone.” Just setting a timer and closing your eyes for five minutes and breathing slower, that is phenomenal. It’s really important.
I really love music, so, and a lot of you have said music. I think music just speaks to a very deep place within us.
Dancing is really important and moving our body is really important. Singing is a really beautiful way of opening up the heart and sort of dispelling any of the grief or the heaviness that could be accumulating, and just listening to things that lift your spirits is really important.
Another thing, if you’re working from home, there are a lot of apps that are, if you search for “pomodoro” which is Italian for tomato. P-O-M-O-D-O-R-O. They’re – or they’re also called “focus timers”. It’s a technique where you set a timer for 25 minutes, and then you have a five-minute break. And while you’re doing that 25-minute stretch, you’ve picked one thing to do, and then you’re doing that one thing.
So, you’re not checking your phone, you’re not checking your email, you’re not, you’re not getting pulled into, you know, cat videos on YouTube. You’re just doing that one task and that’s it. And that’s really important, especially if a lot of you are working from home and figuring out a home office.
I’ve worked from home for many, many years and I can tell you that there’s a couple of things that can help you. One is setting, like, office hours, or creating a little ritual or routine that signals that, you know, the office is in, and then the office is out. Like, you’re at work, and you’re not at work.
So, it could be things like closing your laptop, or placing a crystal on your keyboard so you can’t go back to it. Or just tidying up your desk and sort of putting things to rights and putting things away. If you have a separate space, office space in your home, closing the door, or do, or even having a little in/out sign so that you know these, now you’re at work, and now you’re at home.
And it can be the same space doing double-duty, but that can really help give you that sense of leaving work at work, which is often what we do, we – if we work outside of the home, we leave the office and we commute. And in that commute, we get all of this time to process everything so that when we arrive, we’ve kind of left work at work, hopefully. Mentally it’s still there.
When you’re not physically commuting, you have to do something that’s going to replicate that commute, of that gathering yourself back to the present moment, and so now you’re working, now you’re not. I’m online, I’m offline. And then, you know, and knowing that maybe your work day is going to be a little bit more loosey goosey then it would have been if you had to commute back and forth, so maybe it’s a little stretched out.
I find I, my working hours are best the first couple of hours right when I get up, and then I like to have the afternoons, and then I’ll have another little burst in the evening and then I’m done. And that seems to be a really good rhythm, and that’s not a typical office work thing – you don’t tend to have a siesta, at least in Canadian culture. We don’t just close ’er down for a couple hours in the afternoon, but man, is that a good practice. It’s very natural.
Thank you, everybody! Where are we at? Perfect.
Yeah, so, what I’d like to do is, I’d like to do a little – not a little – I’d like to do an energy activation and clearing meditation. It will help, kind of, guide you through a really beautiful practice that will – it feels a lot like a Reiki session does, and it helps clear all of your energy centers and clear your aura and ground you all at the same time. But, so yeah, we can get settled. Okay, we’ll begin this meditation.
1:14:17 to 1:27:03
So, just take a few deep breaths, just relaxing, gently closing your eyes. Just letting any of that static charge be released gently by a sigh of relief. Just knowing there is a strong, guiding presence here with us all.
Deep down in the core of everything, there is a steadiness and a flow, a deep, inherent wisdom within the planet, gently guiding us and nourishing us, supporting us in any way imaginable. Just letting everything heavy melt into the tender arms of Mother Earth. She is prepared to receive it all. There is nothing too big, there’s nothing too painful, there’s nothing too overwhelming that she cannot help us with.
Letting that strong and nourishing guidance flow, feeling that ancient rhythm of energy, knowing that rhythm within the Earth, that slow and deep cycle of nature lives within you. You can feel it in your bones. You can feel it in your heart. You know this to be true.
Take another deep sigh of relief, letting everything melt off of your shoulders, placing, temporarily, everything outside of your bubble, giving you the space and time to be within the stillness inside of you. Letting anything that isn’t connected to your purpose in this lifetime go. Allowing your soul to decide what to keep and what to stay. Knowing that this is the process that happens deep inside of you, a knowingness in your heart.
Allowing the mind and all of its thoughts to step into service of your heart and your soul. Your heart is in charge and it knows what to do. Your heart is in presence and full expansion of your spirit and your being in this moment, this beautiful and precious moment with all of its grace and gifts – it’s yours.
A beautiful violet light, a beautiful purple colour, is descending to touch your crown. The violet light descends from the infinite heavens to the top of your head, your crown. This violet light shines and radiates through your whole body, filling the top of your head, the crown, filling your forehead and your brain, your third eye, down through the throat, clear and flowing.
Moving in through the heart, filling and expanding. Softening in through your shoulders, down the arms and out the palms of your hands. Filling and concentrating the energy in your solar plexus, in your belly, gathering all of your solar plexus energy, keeping it inside you.
Bringing the energy down into the sacral, into your lower abdomen. Bringing the energy right into your root, the base of your spine, all the way down your legs, shining radiantly out the bottoms of your feet and all the way to the center of the Earth, completely connected and rooted.
Take a few soft breaths into whatever you are feeling, knowing that all of your feelings are okay, giving them space to be felt fully, breathing deeply into the sensations of it, noticing how they naturally shift and move.
Very gently, one by one, being led into the light, into the light and grace of your soul, begin taking soft breaths into your energy field, noticing what’s there, noticing with kindness and compassion, allowing anything in your energy field that isn’t yours to dissolve. Letting it go to the highest light, knowing that there is an immense, kind, and loving presence within the Universe looking out for all of us. Surrender everything that is beyond your control to the light, allowing your aura to be swept clean and clear by your guides and angels, your immense Divine team.
Feel this light extend through your aura, your electromagnetic field, right around your body. Feel it clear and cleanse the energy right near your body with a beautiful and comforting red energy layer, all around you.
Just beyond the red, a beautiful, vibrant orange, all around you.
Just beyond the orange, a beautiful, radiant yellow light and energy, all around you.
Just beyond the yellow, a brilliant and compassionate green, all around you.
Just beyond the green, a cool and soothing blue, all around you.
Just beyond the blue, a serene indigo, all around you.
Just beyond the indigo, a protective and comforting violet, all around you.
Notice or feel or know the presence of loving Divine beings, your team, your spirit guides, your guardian angels, ascended masters, or the Universe itself. Whomever you think the best is, they are here with you now.
Know that this Divine, loving presence is maintaining your ground and maintaining your auric field, no matter what is happening, no matter where you are, they are there and supporting you, making sure you are completely contained within your bubble of light. It’s all held in place by the Divine.
Now, you can gently bring yourself back to presence, gently wiggling your fingers and your toes. Bring your hands down your legs, letting the energy connect to the Earth below you, and sweeping your hands through and around your aura, with your hands facing your body, just smoothing off that field around you and giving it a gentle pat.
And when you’re ready, you can open your eyes.
Ah! Thank you, everyone. So wonderful. As you’re arriving back, you can type the, type into the chat what you experienced. I’d love to hear from you.
I just felt so calm and peaceful in that, just even reading it. I’m really excited to create a standalone meditation from that so I can post and share that, and I can also just sit in that meditation as well and receive it in a deeper way. Yeah, that’s wonderful.
And if you’d like to share your experiences and you want, you would like to speak, you can raise your hand, and as long as you have a good inter-connect, internet connection, and a headset or something like that plugged in, then we can, we’d love to hear from you.
But while that’s happening I’m curious maybe we can go to either Ayla or Bea, whoever is back and present? Maybe Bea? Who’s there?
AT: I’m here!
GR: There you are! Ayla, yeah, what did you experience?
AT: I had a big, sort of, Reiki session yesterday, and so I feel like the energy was really settling in from that, in that meditation today. And yeah, just feeling a little bit more grounded, a little bit more, like, in my own space, which is really nice, thank you.
GR: Beautiful, thank you, thank you.
ISABELA says: “Thank you again for such a lovely and relaxing meditation.” Thank you.
ALISON: “I appreciated the emphasis on the enormous team we have. I feel myself supported, oddly through my feet. It’s as though I’m being held up.” Oh, that’s wonderful, I’m glad to hear that.
Bea, how did that go for you? How are you feeling, what did you experience?
BB: I found that very relaxing. It’s kind of like, for me right now, any meditation I have, I’m getting, like, some form of a download in all of them, so there’s that, like, layer of intensity to just, like, sitting with everything right now.
But I kind of just felt like it was all flowing naturally, like, I wasn’t even, like, thinking about the energy flowing through or thinking about the layers to my aura – it was kind of just, like, just naturally happening as you said it. So, yeah, that was really relaxing. Thank you.
GR: Yeah, thank you, thank you. Yeah, it is, it is nice. It’s that, that I – sometimes guided meditations are really great just because it’s that effortless self-care. You can just plug it in and listen to it and you can just let yourself go wherever you go. Sometimes you follow along and sometimes you get taken to other places in your mind, but however it happens for you is exactly what you need to experience in any given moment.
Yeah, if you have any other experiences, we’d love to hear from you. And, yeah, there’s some other things I’d like to share.
I’ve been really drawn to reading and I’ve got, sort of, this massive library in my, in my living room, of books that I acquire. And I’ve read many of them, and others have just been in my, like, “waiting to get to” list, so that’s also a nice thing, is catching up on all of my reading. And it’s a big self-care step for me is to just, sort of, read.
This one is The Gift by Hafiz, who is a poet in, from the Shiraz region in what was then Persia, which is now Iran. And he’s a Sufi master or was a – is – a Sufi master. He lived in the 1300s, and his poetry is all about the connection with the Divine. And I’m about to read a poem because just is so beautiful.
1:32:14 to 1:33:16
Because your meadows call
I weave light into words so that
When your mind holds them
Your eyes will relinquish their sadness,
Turn bright, a little brighter, giving to us
The way a candle does
To the dark.
I have wrapped my laughter like a birthday gift
And left it beside your bed.
I have planted the wisdom in my heart
Next to every signpost in the sky.
A wealthy man
Often becomes eccentric,
A divine crazed soul
Is transformed into infinite generosity
Tying golden sacks of gratuity
To the dangling feet of moons, planets, ecstatic
Midair dervishes, and singing birds.
Because every cell in your body
Is reaching out
Ah! Beautiful! So great. Yes, so, things like that – you just, this voice across the ages, just speaking right to your inner being and your heart – those sorts of things are just things that light me up inside.
ISABELA says: “It’s 3:33!
I have also being, been seeing signs and synchronicities everywhere and that’s a really beautiful way of our team knowing, letting us know that, “We’re here;” that, “Hey guys, we’re here and we’re supporting you!” There’s been so many synchronous moments that’s been happening, of just these beautiful little coincidences. I’ll have a thought and then somebody answers it, you know.
I’ll surrender something and let it go, something that’s beyond my control. I’ll just put it into the Divine hands and then I get this, it comes in, the support comes in.
There’s a really powerful phase of manifestation that’s happening now. My Divine team was telling me the other day that anything that you’ve ever put into an intention or a manifestation, or put something out there that was positive that you would like to receive, is on its way right now. It’s in the process of being delivered.
There’s a very strong pull of energy, and pool of energy within us and around us right now, and so it’s also an interesting way of looking at things, is like, how is this bringing me everything I’ve always wanted in some strange, weird fashion? This disruption is creating possibilities where none existed and is unleashing this wave of hope and this answering of this deep call that, of, and solving these big problems that have always been problems.
Things like this Text4Hope line, for example. We’ve always needed this! We’ve always needed that mental health resource and support, and people are finally talking about, “How can we support each other when we’re isolated?” And I think, “Guess what? We were isolated before this happened. We just were used to it.”
And now we’re aware that here’s this big need we’ve always had, you know, a big need of how are we going to house people? How are we going to feed people? How we’re going to make sure that people who are vulnerable can get out of danger and into safety? How are we going to protect our, you know, physically vulnerable populations and nursing homes from contagion, you know?
All of those things are being answered in the collective, and that’s enormous. It doesn’t diminish the importance of what’s happening or, you know, certainly not in a dismissive tone because there’s definitely still a lot of suffering directly from this. But there’s also this creativity and problem-solving that gives me great hope for humanity. There’s just so much uplifting stories of connection and compassion and creativity that is wonderful to hear and wonderful to see.
Ayla, did you have anything to add to any of that?
AT: No, that was great.
GR: Wonderful, and Bea, did you have any thoughts to share?
BB: Yeah, I do, I think that’s amazing. I don’t really have any thoughts to share, but I completely agree, that’s awesome.
GR: Okay, wonderful. And Isabela has her hand up; I’m assuming that means that you want to talk, so I can allow you to talk if you like, and then – oops – then you just unmute yourself, I think. Oh, I unmute you. There you go! Isabela, can we hear you?
ISABELA: “Of course, can you hear me?
GR: I can, how are you?
ISABELA: I’m doing well. Thanks for all of this. This is just really a wonderful opportunity. I’m taking as many of these as I can over the days, as I’ve been sort of in the hermit phase for actually over a year now, so my quarantine life, self quarantine life, because I am a high-risk, hasn’t really been very much different than the last, sort of, 14 months of my life, with the exception is that obviously everybody’s in it as well.
And to the last thing that you are talking about, sort of, you know, all the energy and that we were already maybe separated or apart, anyway, and now that there’s this awareness of it.
And I think it, if nothing else, it normalized the “it’s okay to ask for help” and to actually be wanting to give help in a way that I believe, in spite of all the hardship – the real hardship, as in the physical or hardship that’s happening around the world and potentially even with each other here, but to normalize that it’s okay to talk about needing help and to talk about anxiety and to talk about isolation and to talk about stuff that it was already happening, but it just brought up to the surface.
And I’m finding great gratitude in that. I’m finding great solace in that and I don’t know if you experienced that or if it’s just me, again, because I’m in this hermit energy and hermit choice of life right now, that in the people that I’m connecting with and even what’s coming through my feeds that I am not, like social, in social media, that’s coming through my feed, maybe because of the algorithm, but is that people in my, let’s say, in my group of friendship or acquaintance or family or – again, the feed is they’re starting to use this language around energy, around, well, you know, “Yes, I need people around me, I need their energy.”
Even the people who didn’t say that before, there is an awareness of how really, we are interconnected in all this and, you know, to go, to sort of link up to the how to ask for help and so on. And some of it may not ask because a pride of someone. My situat-, my own situation, is that I’m fiercely independent and then life built around me as me needing to be independent or wanting to be independent or now realizing that I don’t know what interdependence is like. I don’t know what that feels like at all, to be honest.
I don’t know what to model after, so I have been really intentional, intentional about, sort of, testing my asking for help for over months now, and I ask for help for, of the ones, of really close friends that I trust, that will make it safe for me to ask for help, but my goal is to ask for help regardless, is to not feel that I’m not safe, or not safe, but it is really asking from a sovereign place.
That if I get help from, if I’m asking, that’s okay, and if I don’t get help, it’s okay too.
ISABELA: Just allow people to say, “I can’t help you right now, but I can help you in a month or in a year or in an hour or next week or tonight,” or whatever, because I think that’s a dynamic that I’d like to create, that we all need to create, is to make it safe to say no, because I certainly, actually, also have been practicing also to say no, not right now.
And not to come up with an excuse to really say, “I really don’t feel like it right now because I’m gonna take a bath instead,” or whatever. Like, literally, I’m in the, I don’t feel like it and I, and I have my people that I can say that to, and I’m expanding that a little bit, trying to expand that. I’m just sharing that because maybe it’s helpful to someone.
GR: Yes, thank you.
ISABELA: But also, you know, the notice, right? The notice of, “wow, people are talking about energy so I’m just gonna dip into that a bit further.
GR: Thank you, yeah, thank you so much, thank you so much for sharing your comments, I really do appreciate that. Yeah, thank you, I really do, I hear you. It’s a beautiful, beautiful phase of this awareness that, like you had mentioned, and I love that energy, that we were talking about energy, and that was starting to happen before all this happened, but the people knowing and understanding that that’s a need – absolutely, that’s a beautiful outcome from this.
And I think you bring up a beautiful point which is tuning in, each one of us needs to tune in to what we need in any given moment, and based on that, knowing how much we can help and what kinds of things we can help with, and what kinds of things we need help with.
So, part of that is – (1:43:52) to be a good helper, you have to say no. It’s a requirement. If you say yes to everything and you exhaust yourself, you lose the ability to help the people who need your help the most.
You, you know, there’s, I think I mentioned it before – it’s a really great book. It’s called The Art of Extreme Self-Care by Cheryl Richardson, and it’s got a chapter in there called “Let Me Disappoint You,” which is all about different ways, and she gives great examples, of how to say no to people in a, in a way that is, where the compassion is equal, because compassion is only true compassion if it’s the same for everyone.
If you are always constantly giving and you’re never taking time for yourself, you’re creating an imbalance and you’re helping from a state of, that imbalance is not healthy, and it can create resentment within you because here you are “doing everything for everyone else, and nobody’s doing anything for me!”
But then it also – not saying that that’s the case for you at all – but then it also, it teaches people that that’s how giving happens, is that to give, you have to – it’s that martyrdom idea of, that you have to give every last little bit of resource away to be good, and that you have to answer every call for help, every request.
And that isn’t the case, because there’s lots of sources of help, and if people can’t get help from you, they will get creative and they will ask others. Or you can get them to, you can refer them to other people. Yes, and you’d mentioned, yeah, that “no” is a complete sentence. You don’t need to explain why.
The old, in the olden days before all this happened, we needed to explain ourselves, and we couldn’t ask for our needs to be met and we couldn’t say what we, if we needed solace, if we needed time to meditate, if we needed to unplug – we couldn’t say no. But we have to! We have to, and you have to make it clear to others.
It’s like, “Right now, I’m sorry I can’t do that. I, you know, I, well, you know, maybe you can get help in these other places.” And, you know, just with a very kind, loving attitude. And yeah, it’s a wonderful and very crucial skill set, especially if you’re in a state of chronic over-giving. So, yes. (1:46:46) Yes, that’s beautiful, yeah.
And balancing that – so, one of the things that I’ve been doing, because I am asking my team at LunaHolistic for more help, is I’m asking them every day – and I wasn’t doing this at the beginning, but then I learned a few things. I’m asking them every day, because I need help with rebuilding everything, and that’s just, this is just my example.
So, I ask them, “How able are you to help me?” On a scale of zero to ten, so, zero being “Not at all. Leave me alone!” and ten being like, “I’m with you, I’m in it! I need to, give me something to do because I need some focus.”
And that helps me, because then it’s like, I know who to go to, and I have this strong trust that whenever I need help, it’ll be there. And there’s always been one or two or maybe three or eight people, you know, who can step up and lean in. And if there aren’t, then it’s like, oh, maybe I also just need to go for a walk with my family, you know, and unplug for a little bit.
You know, maybe this is a way of me also knowing what do I need and what I not need. And I think that’s a really good check-in, is like, “Hey, I have this need – how able are you to meet it?” You know, and there’s lots of ways of saying that, when we ask, but then there’s also, when people can’t help, then accepting that. They can’t help, they can’t help.
Just like, if somebody got really, really sick from this illness and they couldn’t, like, call you and support you through your anxiety or overwhelm, you wouldn’t get mad at them for being sick. You would understand.
If somebody was overwhelmed themselves, or they looked fine on the outside – it’s like the Instagram, you know, everybody looks like their best self, you know? It looks like they’re okay on the outside, but you don’t know what’s happening in, on the interior. You don’t know what’s happening in their home or family life, you don’t know the pressures that they’re under, maybe from their workplace, and so really knowing and understanding that.
And that if somebody is unable to help you, then that’s okay. You know, letting them off the hook. And I think collectively shifting how we interact with each other about those basic needs and knowing that if one person can’t do it, another person will, and getting creative in ways of getting our needs met and branching out to different sources.
And that’s also the benefit of having a list of resources in your back pocket is that you can say, “No, I’m sorry, I can’t help you, but there’s this great app called Wysa, W-Y-S-A, and that’s a really great resource of support. Or there’s 2-1-1 in Calgary, or in Alberta. You can call them for social, for just, the Distress Line. All of those are really great resources.”
So, thank you everybody! This was a really amazing chat, a really great share. This is a topic that I am massively passionate about, and because when you get good at receiving help, you become a better helper to others. And yeah, thank you.
Ayla, do you have any final words or insight or resources to share?
AT: No, I feel like you covered so much today. That was lovely, thank you.
GR: Thank you. And Bea, did you have anything else that you’d like to close with?
BB: Oh, I don’t think so. I agree with that Ayla, that was just great. Thank you, Geneva.
GR: Yes, thank you. Yes, I’m just looking through here. Yes, so yeah, and about knowing to receive and learning to receive and knowing what you need and what you don’t need and knowing that you can just say no to things is really, really great.
Thank you! Thank you everybody who are joining live and thank you to everybody who’s joined later on the podcast. This will be posted on the LunaHolistic.com blog and our podcast and to YouTube, and you can also look for extra resources and support to LunaHolistic.com/resources. That will give you a whole pile of information and access to guided meditations that we have up there and we’re adding to that list all of the time.
And yeah, until then, we’re gonna close with a big, big hug – world’s safest hug, everybody! So, just do this big, virtual hug. We’re gonna hug everybody here, everybody joining later, and then just expand your arms out and let a few more people into the circle. Expand your arms out even more so that we’re stretched out and the world is in between our arms and just give that Earth, our home, a nice hug and really feel that hug back. Ah, so nice. Thank you, everybody. And then give yourself a big hug. So, thank you, thank you, everybody. Be well and safe and healthy and practice asking for help! Yay, wonderful, thank you!