Why do you get stuck? What happens when you’re stuck?
It can be so depressing, hopeless, and frustrating to be in an uncomfortable place. Being stuck makes you feel like you can’t move back, forward, sideways, up or down. You feel like you need to be more connected and engaged with the life you want but just can’t seem to get there.
When you get stuck, your inner critical voice might be yelling at you. It might be very harsh, pushing you to move faster than you can and saying everything you should be doing.
The main theme of the inner critic is “never enough,” so no matter what, you get yelled at to get moving faster. It’s very damaging. That inner critical voice often makes you more stuck.
Even though we might think that a kick in the butt will get us moving, it never lasts for long. The inner wise part of us wants to stop the inner violence. Things externally will grind to a halt. Anytime there’s that pushing or pulling or pressure from the inner critic, it is the fastest way to stop everything and get in that really stuck place.
The Illusion of Safety in Being Stuck
The other side of stuckness is that sometimes it’s a protective thing to try to keep us out of what our ego perceives as danger. The inner critic loves you being stuck. Because if you’re stuck, you’re safe. In its view, if you’re not doing anything new, scary, or vulnerable, then it is happy. But being stuck can get so uncomfortable because we need growth, change and transformation to feel alive.
Accepting that little tiny bit of emotional risk that comes with doing something new can create the energetic change that can get you unstuck.
How do you get unstuck?
The steps to get out of a stuck place are: soften, relax, get gentle, notice where you are, come back to your body, see what can change, notice a tiny thing you can be grateful for, and then take even the tiniest little sliver of action. Any tiny movement will move you, even if it doesn’t seem like a lot.
Stop Struggling against being Stuck
The first step out of being stuck is often to stop struggling and get still.
Noticing where you are is the first step to getting out. It’s uncomfortable to notice the discomfort of the present moment. Nobody wants to do that.
It’s much easier to numb, but the numbing only pauses, what’s happening, it doesn’t process it, and it doesn’t end up moving you forward. It just is a delay, which can add more pressure on you.
Being stuck in your life is no different than being in a mud puddle. You’ve sunk in up to your knees. And the more you flail, the worse it will be for you. And so the first thing is to stop, get still, and really pay attention to what’s happening in the body.
Returning to that state of presence, to your breath, and a state of calm will help you get out. Stop, get present, get grounded, see where you are, and then look for the possibilities around you.
Compulsive future-looking doesn’t help you navigate. To get anywhere, you have to know where you are first.
Gentleness is the key to getting out of a stuck place
The way forward is just loving yourself more and being okay with where you are. Simply being gentle with yourself and loving yourself through it is the key to breaking free. It feels counterintuitive because, growing up, we are often pushed to go forward. There was a belief that you needed a kick in the butt to get unstuck and get you moving forward.
Simply say to the inner critical voice, “You know what? It’s okay. Yes, I do want to be over there. I want to be doing things I’m not currently doing. But it’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here. I need to accept where I am. And love myself through it and be gentle with myself.”
You can just lower your expectations of yourself. Then once the pressure of the inner critic stops, there is a kind, loving voice that fills the silence that can give you peace, comfort and guidance. That takes away that stuck feeling, and then moving forward becomes natural.
Being soft and gentle creates real freedom from the inner critic. If the energy keeping you stuck is harsh, then you need the opposite to break free.
Just soften around all of it, don’t put so much pressure on yourself, and appreciate your life where it is. The more we struggle against where we are, the worse things can feel.
Reframe your thoughts to get unstuck
Sometimes it’s a thought that can keep you stuck. Reframing how you think about your situation can help you move forward.
A great app to help improve your mental well-being is Wysa; it’s a little cognitive behavioural therapy app. It’s fantastic for helping you reframe your thoughts. It can take you through a reframing exercise, help with gratitude journalling, and even has some yoga and meditation practices to help you regroup.
All or none thinking can be a contributor to getting stuck. You want to leap immediately from one place to another with no in-between. That rush or pressure creates so much tension that it can halt all forward movement. This type of thinking diminishes even the tiny things that move you forward because it is never enough.
Surrender the details and the plan and let it all go; let it be in the hands of the Divine. Spend some time relaxing, doing Reiki or meditation, reading something inspirational, or even watching people being creative on YouTube. Find ways where you can feed your brain new ways of looking at things. Getting curious about anything moves you forward and can inspire your own creativity.
Just take a step back and try to look at your life almost as a third party. When you do, you’ll realize how far you have come; you are doing big things. Sometimes you need a minute to take a breath. You can reframe being stuck as just taking a breather, a rest. Maybe you just need a moment.
Tiny positive actions move you forward
Shifting your thinking to embrace any tiny movement forward can really help. You can’t leap from where you are. But you can make a tiny little change.
Usually, these tiny incremental changes get us from point A to point B. It’s the little tiny things that we do every day that add up over the long term.
It’s much better to change the underlying habit than to get the result. Loosening your grip on the results and knowing that the results are baked into the process creates so much ease. So if we can change a tiny little habit to a healthier one, the progress we’re after will appear with time.
What is some way that you can make even a symbolic movement forward? What’s the next little baby step? Just take that tiny action and then another. And then, when you turn around, you’ll notice that you’ve come a really long way.
When Things are Beyond your Control…
Even in intensely difficult situations when you don’t know how things will resolve, the principles that can help you are the same. Take tiny moments and breaks to return to your breath; return to the present moment. When the future is very uncertain, the only safe space is the present moment. The present moment can be this little island of relief when everything else is up in the air.
Doing little tiny kind things for yourself, like taking a shower, making sure that you’re well hydrated, making sure that you’re meditating and reaching out to loved ones, all those little things are enormously important.
Anything that brings in that little breath of relief and comfort and makes you feel good is a step. Remember, forward is forward; it doesn’t matter how small.
You’ve got this!!
We can go step by step and move away from that stuck place to that place of freedom. The gifts of those stuck moments are that we learn so much when we’re stuck. We need to do the same strategies when we’re in the flow.
Everything you’re learning is important and will help keep you in the flow once you’re free. You’re ultimately building skills to be in that resilient space. And you won’t be as fearful when you are stuck. You’ll know you can move forward and be in that flow again.
You can send us your question in the comments below or record your question here: https://www.lunaholistic.com/podcast/
We are also very happy to share the gift of Reiki through our Giving Back Program! Every month we give away free Reiki sessions to exceptional people.
Learn more here: https://www.lunaholistic.com/giving-back-program/
You can also do a self-guided Retreat with our LunaHolistic Retreat Journal.
Learn more here: https://www.lunaholistic.com/retreat/
LunaHolistic Podcast 07 Transcript
Help, I’m Stuck! – How Do I Move My Life Forward?
Hosted by: Geneva Robins – LunaHolistic
Facilitated by: Angela Hoogeveen
Podcast Air Date: Sunday, January 15, 2023
0:05 Welcome to the show.
GENEVA ROBINS: Welcome to the LunaHolistic podcast! I’m your host, Geneva Robins, and every month on this podcast, we’ll talk about Reiki, as well as answering your questions on all things spiritual. We are gratefully located in Calgary in Treaty 7 Territory. Thank you all, and welcome to the show!
Welcome to the LunaHolistic podcast! My name is Geneva Robins. Welcome, everybody! I’m so happy to have Angela Hoogeveen here with me today. Say hi, Angela.
ANGELA HOOGEVEEN: Hi! Hi everyone.
GR: Good to see you! I’m so glad to be talking about our favourite topic, Reiki, with you today. And our main theme is: Help! I’m stuck!
GR: And what we can do to get unstuck. And we’ll both be sharing, sort of, the things that we do to get ourselves to a new, fresher place.
But before we jump into that, we’ll start with [a] collective breath of gratitude. Just a way of connecting in, and little mini meditation. If you’re operating any kind of vehicle, please keep your eyes open and maybe skip ahead.
Otherwise, I invite you to gently close your eyes, and take a big sigh of relief. Settling in and connecting, noticing the Earth below your feet. Sending a big wave of gratitude into the Earth.
Thanking that energy for nurturing and supporting all of your needs. Noticing the plants, and animals. The sky, the water, the land, are all around you. Letting that gratitude ripple out from you. And feeling that wave of gratitude return. And when you’re ready, you can open your eyes.
[Sighs] So nice. Thank you!
AH: Lovely. [laughs]
GR: Thank you for joining me today. Before we jump into our main topic, I was curious. Reiki is our favourite topic, but, and, is kind of all of the topics.
GR: What do you love about Reiki, Angela?
AH: Well, there’s so many things! So, when I first got started with Reiki, someone who was a Reiki practitioner told me that Reiki was going to change my life. What I sort of thought [was] “sure, okay,” maybe not even really believing, or understanding how Reiki could change my life.
But now, you know, several years later, it’s 100% true. Reiki has changed my life for the absolute better. It’s even hard to articulate what it’s done. It’s definitely helped me through a lot of things, a lot of feelings, a lot of old, stuck traumas, and old, stuck feelings that I wasn’t able to process.
And then, just in regards to being a practitioner, being able to help my clients and seeing the changes in their life through Reiki. Yeah, it’s just, it’s awesome.
Well, what do you love about Reiki?
GR: Ah, all of the things, I really do. It’s a fantastic self-healing, you know, self-care practice. I think that’s the core of it for me. Like, one of the things we say in our Reiki classes all the time is that “all healing is self-healing.”
And so, as a practitioner, I’m always doing my own work, regardless of what’s happening. So, even if I never did another Reiki session for anyone else, I would still be doing my own practice, because it can shift things.
And it’s remarkable to me how, even after all this time, I will get sort of stuck in my head a little bit. And I will… I’ll try to use my mind to solve problems – terrible idea! And really a few minutes of Reiki can shift things, and it helps me find solutions where I just didn’t see any options before.
And so, that part is just transformational to me. So, to me, it puts you in touch with your inner wisdom, and it creates this space so that you can connect to, sort of, that calm, quiet inner knowing.
And when we’re in that place, that sort of like… obstacles don’t seem as big, and solutions come in, you know, we get ideas, and we get connected to creative solutions. And it also just makes you feel, like, good, and well, and peaceful.
That’s what I like about it, for me. And it’s helped heal so many things for me, you know – injured back, and migraine pain, and has significantly improved my allergy and asthma symptoms, to the point where I don’t even have an inhaler anymore, which is, you know, results may vary [laughs].
So, not everybody is going to have that same experience. But for me, it’s been one of the many things that has shifted a bunch of physical things in my own body. But deeper than that, it’s cleared a lot of long-standing thought patterns, you know, shifting the inner critic voice to a more kind, interior landscape. And really, it’s a practice to, kind of, keep that going and flowing.
And then, it’s just absolutely the best job in the world when I get a chance to work with other people, because I get to create the space where people can connect to that Divine space inside them. And that place of healing, and rest, and recovery.
And I basically just get to facilitate somebody else’s miracle, like, to connect, you know. We kind of open up this energy space, and then people can connect to it in whatever way they need to.
So yeah, it’s endlessly fascinating to me. And it is absolutely — my conscious mind, or my ego-mind is, like, cannot wrap its head around what is happening. It doesn’t seem like it would be possible, but it somehow is, because we just keep seeing these amazing results over and over again. And we keep experiencing it ourselves.
So, it’s just that, you know, even for people who aren’t connected to the energy, or don’t really believe in that stuff, you know, you might even just chalk it up to, like, the power of the mind. And that mind-body connection, and that our brains are these, you know, living computers that are inside our physical body.
And when we think a new thought, or we’re in a different mental state, when we’re in that, sort of, calmer, parasympathetic response, we’re not in that stressed, “fight or flight” response, then that’s when our immune system can do all the healing work.
And so, it’s almost like we get ourselves out of the way. So that that energy can shift things for us. So yeah, that’s what it is for me. Thank you.
AH: So, just a few little things [laughs].
GR: Just a few! Just, like, it’s just all of the things [laughs].
AH: It does sound crazy, like you said. The mind — it’s hard to fathom, or maybe even accept that Reiki can help with your asthma, and your allergies.
But, you know, I know for myself when I broke my ankle, other than the initial break, I really didn’t have any pain throughout the whole process. But I was also giving myself a ton of Reiki.
And along with that, like you said, mind over matter, you know, that you can have control over your body with your mind. I convinced myself that I was healed, and it was feeling good.
And my cast came off. I didn’t need physio. It was kind of crazy how… yeah, I mean, you would think with a broken ankle, you know, it wouldn’t just, kind of, “snap” [snaps fingers], go back to normal, but it did.
GR: Yeah. Yeah. And that’s something, because you’re a big hiker. And so, [laughs] you know, ankles are somewhat important when you hike as a hobby [laughs].
GR: You would know if something was wrong, but yeah, that’s amazing! It’s really amazing.
I like this next topic, which is: “help, I’m stuck! How do I move forward?” And the reason I like it is because it’s so, like, everybody has been there. And it totally sucks when you’re in that stuck place.
I don’t want to diminish anybody who’s feeling stuck, because it can be so depressing, and hopeless, and frustrating to be in a place that is uncomfortable. Where you feel like you can’t move back, forward, or sideways, up or down.
You just are in this, sort of, stationary, static place. Or the feeling, or perception that you’re not able to move from that place. That’s, you know, sometimes it’s being stuck in something that’s uncomfortable.
And sometimes it’s just being stuck in the bleh, you know, not really feeling a lot, not really, you know, being connected or engaged with the life that you want to have. And, you know, there’s lots of tips and strategies of, kind of, how we each have gotten through this.
But I’m curious for you, Angela, like, what does stuckness mean for you?
08:33 What does stuckness mean for Angela?
And then, what are some of the ways that you get yourself unsticky stuck and help others as well? Like, what, kind of, pops up for you?
AH: Well, I’m definitely familiar with the feeling of being stuck. I recently have gone through that, where I was really, really stuck, as you know, because I had to come [in] for a Reiki session where it felt like I had cement boots on.
And, you know, I knew exactly what I wanted to do, and where I wanted to go. But I had so much resistance to it, that I didn’t do any of the things, I was just literally stuck. I couldn’t move.
I mean, I could — I mean, physically, I could move, of course — but it just felt like I couldn’t. And it’s an awful place to be. And now I do feel unstuck. I feel like I am moving forward, and I am a lot happier.
And what worked was, again, absolutely, you know, having a Reiki session, that will help move that, kind of, stuck energy. But when I’m stuck, it’s that critical voice yelling at me, and saying all [of] the things that I should be doing.
“Why aren’t you doing this? You should be doing this.” “Look where you are, you haven’t gotten out of bed for hours!” It’s very damaging. And that voice just made me more stuck, because it was: “don’t tell me what to do. I [laughs] am going to do this.”
And I find that just being gentle with myself, and loving myself through it. You know it kind of almost feels counterintuitive. I guess because growing up, it was more: “come on [claps hands], let’s go, let’s do it.” You know, “move!” There wasn’t a softness to it, you know.
There was a belief that I just… that you needed a kick in the butt to get unstuck, and to get you moving forward. But for me, that absolutely doesn’t work. It may work for some people. But for me, that doesn’t work.
So yeah, it is just loving myself more, and being okay with where I am. And, kind of, lowering my expectations of myself. Or of that critical voice that’s, again, telling me what I need, or what I should be doing, and where I should be.
And just saying, “you know what, it’s okay. Yes, I do want to be over there, or I do want to be doing these things that I’m not currently doing. But it’s okay. It’s okay, I’m here.”
I need to accept where I am. And love myself through it, and be gentle with myself. And then, usually that is what helps that, you know.
Once I stop pressuring myself, once that pressure is gone, and once there is a kind, loving voice in my head, then that seems to take away that stuck feeling. And then I’m able to move forward.
GR: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. I agree. And honestly, I don’t think that anybody… that the pushing through, or the, like, the kick in the butt works really for anybody long term. I think it can work for people in the short term, but it’s, like, it’s a system that relies on kicking, [laughs] you know.
AH: Yeah. Yep.
GR: So, it isn’t… definitely isn’t a comfortable way of going, you know. It’s, like, it’s getting stuck in the push and pull. And for me, anyway, I agree with you.
I’ve got a nervous system that’s similar. It’s like, anytime there’s that pushing or pulling, or that, like, that pressure. That, like, “I have to get all of these things done, and I have to do it immediately. And I have to do it perfectly.”
And it’s like, “Ugh!” It just… it is the fastest way to stopping everything, and getting in that, sort of, really stuck place. And then, you know, and how mean our minds can be, as well.
Which kind of comes back to that, like, acceptance piece, that there’s a real freedom from it, by just being soft and gentle. And being the opposite of the energy, you know. If the energy that’s keeping you stuck is harsh, then you need the opposite to break free.
So, whatever energy is keeping you in that stuck place, and is holding you stationary. So, sometimes it’s a thought, you know. [It’s] that we feel like we’re stuck by circumstances sometimes because of, you know.
“Well, I can’t tell these people no, so I have to keep on doing all of these other obligations, that are not letting me do the things that I want to do for myself.” So, then I feel like I’m not moving forward on the things that really matter, you know. And then, that can contribute to the stuckness.
16:36 The importance of noticing where you are is the first step to getting out.
So, often it’s about, like, kind of, stopping the struggling. For me it’s, like, noticing where you are is the first step to getting out.
It’s uncomfortable to notice the discomfort of the present moment. Nobody wants to do that, it’s much easier to numb, right? But the numbing only pauses what’s happening. It doesn’t process it, and it doesn’t end up moving you forward.
It just is a delay, which can add more pressure on us, because then we think “Oh, now I’ve been stuck for a really long time! Three years, five years, 10 years, same place, oh my gosh,” you know.
Like, all-or-[nothing] thinking is also a contributor to the stuckness, you know. It’s often something that’s, like, a belief we’re holding in our mind.
And so, thinking about it in, sort of like, these little, tiny incremental changes is, like… “well, maybe I can’t leap from where I am, and don’t want to be, to where I’m gonna go. But maybe I can make a tiny little change. Maybe I can notice little changes that are occurring all around me.”
And kind of get [out of] that panic, you know, of like… I’m in a place and I don’t want to be here and it’s uncomfortable. And I don’t want to keep on being here, but I also don’t know how I’m going to go from where I am to where I want to be.
So, the whole thing can get really bound really quickly. And so, when I notice that I’m in those spaces, my first thing is to stop. Stop struggling, it’s sort of like being in a mud puddle, you know, up to your knees. And it’s, like, the more you flail, the worse it’s going to be for you.
And so, the first thing is to stop, get still, and really pay attention to what’s happening in the body, you know. So, coming back to that state of presence, you know, which is very, very difficult when you don’t like where you are.
But that compulsive future looking doesn’t help you navigate, you know, because in order to get anywhere, you have to know where you are first, you know. Like, where are you? If you know where you want to go, the first thing is to stop, get present, get grounded, and see where you are.
And then see, what possibilities do you have? And to make tiny changes. Because I think our egos, like, want us to leap immediately there. But that’s rarely the way things happen. It’s usually these tiny, little incremental changes [that] get us from point A to point B.
And it’s the little, tiny things that we do everyday that add up over [the] long term. So, it’s like, for me, it’s like, much better to change the underlying habit than to get the result, you know. So it’s, sort of like, loosening our grip on the results, and just, sort of, know that the results are baked into the process.
So, if we can change a tiny, little habit that’s healthier, you know. So, something like: when you’re tired, stop and rest, you know [laughs]. When you need inspiration, like, go and watch inspiring videos, right?
So, you know, looking at ways where you can, like, kind of, feed your brain new ways of looking at things. And getting curious about, and creative about: here is where I am. It’s not super comfortable, but what is some way that I can make even a symbolic movement forward?
20:23 How to deal with the fear of being stuck.
You know, I remember before I left my other career, and I really knew I didn’t want to do it anymore. I knew I really wanted to do Reiki full-time.
And so, every minute I was at my other job was just kind of torture, because it felt like I was taking that time away from Reiki. That’s a pretty difficult place to be in. And so, my solution was just to soften around all of it, to not put so much pressure on my little, tiny growing career to be the everything. But just to appreciate it for where it [was].
The more I struggled against where I was, and the more I made my day job “bad,” it actually undermined the work I was doing to move forward. It was actually the best way of staying stuck, or being in this state of, like, constant tension, which is not the energy I wanted to bring to the work.
So then, my reframe was to just see my day job, at the time, as a source of funding capital for my business [laughs], you know. It was [an] investment source so that I could do this on the side.
And then, it was this, sort of, inner commitment that no matter how long it was gonna take, I was going to take the time that was required. And I was gonna surrender everything else and let it all go, and let it be in the hands of the Divine.
And then, also not… and, like, to be really, really, really grateful for everything I had. And from time to time, I will feel stuck. But the stuckness is almost an illusion, you know.
And so, it’s this softening into what is, doing Reiki, doing meditation. I really, really like the app Wysa. W-y-s-a. It’s a little Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy app. It’s fantastic for helping you, like, reframe your thoughts.
Yeah I think, you know, the biggest thing is, like: soften, relax, get gentle. Notice where you are, come back to your body, see what you… what tiny thing you can be grateful for.
And then, take even the tiniest little sliver of action, even if it doesn’t seem like a lot. Because the other thing that I notice is that the inner critic is really quick to, like, beat up on us for not moving forward. And then, really quick to completely dismiss any tiny, little action that moves us forward.
You know, so it’s, like, it will always say that whatever you do isn’t enough, right? It’s this constant tape. Not enough, not enough, not enough. Where you are isn’t good enough: stuck [laughs], you know. You did five minutes on the project, that’s not enough: stuck, right?
So, it’s like, it loves you being stuck. Because if you’re stuck, you’re safe. In its view, right? It’s, like, it can keep a watch on you at least, if you’re not doing anything new, scary, or vulnerable, you know.
So, that’s the other side of stuckness, is that: sometimes it’s a protective thing, to try to keep us out of what our ego perceives to be danger. You know, but that’s all the good stuff.
You know, accepting that little bit of the tiny emotional risk that comes with doing something new, or doing something for the “effing first time” as Brene Brown calls it [laughs], you know. And we don’t like it, and it sucks.
And so, it’s much better to get and stay stuck, and then find ways of keeping yourself in that immobilized space. Because then no movement can happen, and no change can happen. But it’s misery being there, you know.
And so, sometimes it’s just a matter of, like … sometimes what moves us forward is the discomfort of being stuck. It sucks so much, not moving forward, not doing something that is loving, kind, generous, creative – that it’s worth the risk, you know, the little risk of vulnerability feels less awful than staying where you are [laughs], you know.
But, yeah, how does that sit with you, Angela?
25:11 The pressure of the critical voice – it’s never enough.
AH: I’ve been nodding my head the entire time [laughs] [you’ve been] talking, because it all resonates. And it is that pressure of the critical voice, that “it’s never enough.”
Yeah, okay, maybe you walked a kilometer today, but you “should” have walked 10, or whatever it is. As you say, it’s just, it never seems to be enough, which then causes more stuckness. Because you’re like, “Well, then why should I bother?”
But it is absolutely surrendering. And it’s being okay, and understanding that it’s about baby steps. And that we can’t go from A to Zed, there’s all of those letters in between.
You know, one thing that you say often is that: no push, no pull, which I really tried to, like, “okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, no push, no pull.” It’s huge. And life becomes a lot easier when there’s no push, no pull, when you can flow.
But yeah, it’s that critical voice, it’s that ego voice that can sometimes just take a hold of you. And, like you said, they, you know, the critical voice wants you to stay where you are.
So, you’re fighting yourself. And it can become quite ugly, and quite disheartening. And then, you know, yeah, you start to numb, and it’s just this downward spiral. And, you know, it can leave you stuck for a very long time.
But, you know, again, when you’re gentle with yourself, and you’re loving yourself, and you surrender into… “okay, this is where I’m at,” you know. I might not like where I’m at, and I don’t want to be here. But this is where I’m currently at.
And what’s the next little step? What’s the next little baby step? And then, as you say, when you turn around, you’re like, man, I’ve come a really long way. You know, those were big, big steps through the baby steps.
GR: Yeah. Yeah. And each baby step can feel like a giant leap, you know [laughs], sometimes.
GR: You know, and some of them are tiny, but momentous, right? Like, you know, “click send” is a very tiny action, but can launch a lot of dreams, right? Writing a single email can be a very tiny step in the grand scheme of everything. But it can change a lot.
And so, you know, sometimes we feel that forward motion. And so, then we’re pulling back from it, just [trying] to stay out of it. But what are some tools that you like that move you out? What is your little baby step repertoire for getting in the flow again?
AH: Of course, a Reiki session absolutely helps. And, again, just taking that step back, and trying to look at my life almost as a third party. And to realize, you know what, you have come far, you are doing big things. And sometimes you do need a minute to take a breath.
And so, almost to reframe it that I’m not stuck, I’m just taking a breath. I just need a moment. And, you know, and that moment might be a week, or maybe a day, it might be an hour, I don’t know.
But then it’s like, “okay, yeah, let’s go.” And then, loving myself enough to hold my own hand in a sense, and be gentle with myself, and kind to myself. To say: “we can do this, come on, let’s go. Let’s go. It’s okay.”
29:16 The importance of being in the present moment.
And to give myself credit for even, like you said, you know, in regards to sending that email, but even having a shower [laughs] sometimes is a big step and a big deal. And accepting that, you know what, that was… and even if that’s all I do in a day is have a shower. You know what? Well, that was a step. And it’s okay.
Even though my critical mind and my ego is saying: “oh, that’s all you did today? Come on!” But it’s a “no no, no, no, no, no, no. I love you.” They’ll hush up. I had a shower today and I’m proud of that. And then, tomorrow I’ll have a shower and I’ll go for a walk. And then the next day… you know, so it definitely… as it goes in that downward motion, it can go in that forward motion as well.
GR: I think it [is], like, any tiny, little thing that creates movement. So, it doesn’t, you know… anything that brings in that little breath of relief and comfort, and makes you feel good is a step, you know.
And getting support, and, you know… yeah, I’m a big… my go to is Reiki as well, Reiki or meditation. Or I love, you know, going to sort of my book mentors, or to, you know, podcasts or YouTube videos. Or things [from] people who have done their own amazing thing, you know.
I like to put myself in the vicinity of creativity, even if I don’t feel creative, and I don’t know how I’m gonna get from point A to point B. Connecting with inspiration and inspiring people is a big part of, kind of, my mental self-care. It’s, like, “well, if they can do it, then I can do it,” you know.
Just, you know, even just, like, the Field of Dreams, you know [laughs], watching that movie [laughs]. Like, it makes a big difference to sort of connect in. It’s like, okay, I don’t know how, but maybe I don’t need to know how.
And that’s the other thing that I like is, you know… often in Reiki, we say, like, we don’t need to know how that person’s gonna go from the pain they’re in to where they want to be. Our job is just to see it as possible, to see them in that happy, joyful, smiling space.
And then, surrender everything to the Divine, and we just, sort of, completely let go. And then, trying to apply that to everything in my life [laughs]. You know, so, if I’m stuck and I’m struggling, it’s like: “let go,” you know.
And even in situations that are… [it] seems like there’s no way out, you don’t know how things are going to resolve, you know. You don’t know where things are going to go from where you are, you know. And maybe you’re going to be in this uncomfortable space for a while.
I think the principles are the same. And where things are just… [it feels] like they’re just, kind of, beyond your control, and may be beyond your control. And in those circumstances it’s, yeah, taking those moments and breaks to come back to your breath.
Come back to the present moment. When the future is very uncertain, the only safe space is the present moment.
And so, in some ways it’s like the present moment can be this little island of relief when everything else is up in the air. And so, coming back to your breath, coming back to grounding. And then, doing little, tiny, kind things for yourself, like taking a shower, like making sure that you’re well hydrated. Making sure that you’re meditating, and reaching out to loved ones, because all of that is little, tiny movements forward.
And the universe is never static. And no matter where you are, you will never be there forever. Because everything is in a constant flow of change. And if it’s changing, it can be changed. Anything that’s changeable, will change. And all things can be changed. It might take a very long time.
But it’s… every little breath, every little step, is a tiny movement forward, and one day closer to not being in that spot. And regardless of what the future is bringing, it’s like: how do you want to be through those moments?
So, it’s coming back to that presence and being, and the intention, and finding joy and gratitude, even if it’s the teeniest, tiniest, little thing. Like, I can take an inhale and then exhale. Like, that’s a moment of gratitude. It can be a lifesaver. It can keep your mind sane when everything has gone insane [laughs].
So, that’s my strategy for times of great intensity and strife. It really is, like, whether you get stuck by choice or by accident, really the tools are very, very similar in both spaces.
And in some ways, it’s like, the greater the intensity, the more important… and more careful and kind and gentle you need to be with those tools. It really brings you back to just, you know, being present, and being grounded, and being safe, and reaching out for support. And, yeah.
AH: Mmhmm. But I think a lot of it feels counterintuitive, you know. That surrender, it’s a hard thing. I think people feel that you need to hold on tighter.
And again, just going back to, you know, that kick in the butt, where you just gotta, you gotta push, and you gotta move, and you hold on tight, and it’s gonna be okay.
But really, it is that surrender and accepting what is, which, again, to me, oftentimes feels counterintuitive. But it is the way through. And I absolutely, also, will listen to a lot of videos or audio books, and just knowing that I’m not alone, that other people have felt these things.
And then, you know, they talk about their tools, and maybe not all of them will resonate with me, but just knowing that, again, other people have felt this way. And it’s normal to feel this way. That definitely, yeah, helps for sure.
GR: Yeah, yeah. And there’s a huge difference between surrender and giving in. Our ego sometimes flips surrender into giving in or giving up. And it’s not that at all. It’s about stopping the struggle that’s maybe miring you, or making the situation worse, you know.
And that, you know, if you’re in the state where it’s, like, kicking yourself there could actually get you there, you would be there by now, right?
36:40 When we’re stuck, it’s like another form of control.
Because usually the intensity that we feel when we’re stuck is because we’re trying to not be there. And we’re trying to push, push, push our way through it. And the push, push, pushing isn’t getting us anywhere, other than more, like, caught and entangled in the situation we’re in.
And so, it’s almost, like, that the pushing is like another form of control, right? Like, we don’t like where we are, and we want to control our way out of it. But that isn’t how it works, we have to surrender our way out of it.
And then we can, kind of… like, the bonds on us, you know, the tangles and the snarls in the muck, it all just sloughs off. And then we can…. we get connected to our creativity and our ingenuity, and we come up with new solutions, and ideas pop into our head.
If you’re under a lot of pressure intention, those creative epiphanies can’t come to you. You’re doing the same thing and expecting different results, which is crazy [laughs]. It keeps you further in it.
And so, the surrender we’re talking about is about, like, gentleness and softening. And in some ways sort of mentally letting go of the plan and sort of surrendering into something greater. So that you’re not surrendering to chaos, you’re not letting it go to just, sort of, the winds, you’re letting it go into the wisdom inside you. And the wisdom of the Creator, of the Universe, of… you know.
That we live in this interconnected fabric of reality. And that Intelligence, that is underlying all matter, is constantly communicating with us. And then, when we let go, we let that bigger force and bigger energy communicate with us.
And then, that’s where all of these sort of ideas you didn’t have access to before [come in]. And the celebrating the tiniest, little forward movement and step, that all happens because we’re in this place. And then we can just, you know, in that flow and connection, we can just, step by step, move our way from that stuck place to that place of freedom.
And when we do that, you know, the gift of those moments, you know — the looking back on the stuck places, and getting ourselves free — is that the things that we need to do, and the lessons that we learn when we’re stuck, we need to do that when we’re in the flow too.
So, we have to keep on doing it. We have to keep on coming back to surrender. We have to keep on coming back to being in the flow, and being in harmony with our inner wise self.
We notice a lot when we feel stuck and in a bad place. But we… those tools, everything you’re learning right now. You happen to be stuck [laughs], you know, welcome to the party [laughs].
GR: We’re all there at different times. And everything you’re learning now is one more increment moving you forward to sort of greater and greater joy, and is ultimately building skills so that you can be in that resilience space.
And that you won’t resist or be as fearful when you are in a stuck place, that you can move forward and be in that flow again. And if you get stuck, you get stuck. You soften, relax, and come back to the basics.
Come back to those little, tiny movements forward, and just heap joy and praise on every little bit and motion. And [keep] noticing how things are constantly changing. So.
40:57 Angela’s advice for people who want to get into the flow.
AH: Mmhmm. Abraham Hicks talks about that a lot, where you’re trying to push your boat against the current. And it’s just work, and it’s work, and it’s work, and you’re not really moving.
But once you surrender, or accept what is, accept where you are, and you go down current, as you say, everything is just easy and flowing. And yeah, things move a lot, well, just a lot easier.
GR: Yeah, yeah. And you’re putting your efforts towards things that are actually moving you, and moving you in the direction that is in that, sort of, maximum harmony and joy.
It’s not a place that’s devoid of effort, either. It’s not that we’re not doing anything, it’s just that we’re in a more relaxed internal space. So that the stuff that we are doing is more in alignment with the energy where we’re headed.
And so, even if you’re putting in a lot of work, to create and make things that are going to move you forward, it’s a much more restful space. You can celebrate all of the tiny, little accomplishments, you know.
If you’re writing something, you’re celebrating each sentence, each word. You’re paying attention to how joyful it feels to, like, hold your pen; how fun it feels to type up the words, you know. Noticing where you struggle, and then you find ease. Like, those, kind of, little incremental changes are… that’s the whole process.
So, you get lost in the process and let go of the product. You know, if you’re fixated on where you’re going, or what it’s gonna look like when you’re there, you miss the magic that’s happening along the way.
And even in the most dark, depressing times, there’s always these little moments of joy. There’s these moments of epiphanies, there’s delight, there’s wonder, there’s grace. And if we’re not present, we’ll miss them, you know.
You know, there’s always sunrises happening. And there’s always sunsets happening. So, you have these, like, two opportunities every day to connect to joy and wonder, if you’re there for them, because they’re ephemeral, they don’t last. And to really be, and be present with it, no matter what else is happening that’s uncomfortable.
And those things are, like, the anchor for me, that can move me through very dark times, and very stuck places. And then, sort of, coming back and expanding. Coming back to the tools, you know. Coming back to Reiki.
Like, Reiki is fantastic because it connects you to that limitless flow. And can put you in this, kind of, deep state of peace and harmony. You can connect to that moment of, sort of, grace, where you’re like, “I don’t know how I’m gonna get to where I want to be. But I know it’s possible. I can feel it.”
And I can feel that little breath of movement, that little breath of wind or fresh air. It’s on the way for me, and I’m going to just keep going in the direction that feels like ease and flow. And swim downstream for a while instead of upstream, like you said.
AH: Mmhmm. Yeah, my previous corporate job that I’ve had for forever, that was absolutely upstream, where the last few years I was miserable. I didn’t realize at the time how miserable I was in that job.
But it wasn’t that I was terribly unhappy. There were definitely moments of happiness in my life. But it was still a struggle. But then, once I gave that up and, you know, turned to go downstream… now, it’s just so much easier, as you say, kind of appreciating those little moments.
And I don’t have all that stress piled on me where I couldn’t. You know, when I had that stress, I couldn’t appreciate those moments. But now that I’m flowing downstream, and I have Reiki as a career, everything has changed.
GR: Amazing! I love it! I love it. Well, I’m so happy to be on this downstream journey with you. [laughs]
GR: And I’m also happy to have you as a companion when we… and helper when I get stuck, when you get stuck. We can, like, help pull each other out of the muck [laughs].
And for any of those listening, we’re very, very happy to help you. We have great compassion for all of the various places, whether you’re in the flow or whether you’re feeling really stuck. Come try Reiki.
It might be the thing that can really put a little breath of wind in your sails and give you a little bit of a boost to move forward. Or feel, you know, at least peace and acceptance with wherever you happen to be.
Thank you everyone for joining us today! Thank you, Angela! It’s been awesome talking to you. And we’ll catch you next time!
AH: Thank you Geneva! Take care.
Thank you for joining us on the LunaHolistic Podcast. We’re so grateful that you are here. If you’ve got a question, we’d love to hear from you. Go to LunaHolistic.com/podcast and we’ll answer you in an upcoming episode. Be sure to subscribe to our show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And also, please rate, because you never know where your little five stars will go to shine light into somebody’s heart today. So, thank you very much and we’ll see you next time.