After two years of writing and editing and writing and more editing… my first book is days away from being released. I’m riding through waves of courage and vulnerability that I have never before experienced with such soul-aching intensity.
At times, I cannot stop the tears of fulfillment from flowing. At others, I feel like I am free-falling. The weightlessness at the top of the rollercoaster seems to be stitched to me like Peter Pan’s shadow.
So why, why do this? Why stretch at all? Why would anyone choose to do anything new, bold, or different?
I was chatting with a friend recently, asking her if I would ever get used to this falling through space sensation. Her response zoomed home, “Probably. You can get used to anything.”
So before I wrote the book, I was used to the feeling of not having a book, but wanting to write one. I was uncomfortable. But I was used to it.
It is so easy to get comfortable with the pain of where we are. Just because we are used to it, doesn’t mean we like it. Or, that we are supposed to stay there.
For me, the pain of not writing was huge. To suppress a big life purpose is devastatingly painful. When you know, who you are and why you are here, if you don’t follow that call it can tear you apart. I was suffering daily by not taking action.
As soon as I started writing, as soon as I went with the flow of energy of the process, I felt purposeful, alive, electric. The nerves fade when I connect to that. The feeling of being connected to a purpose and energy larger than you. As a part of a much larger whole.
This is why I wrote the book. I followed the flow.
That deep ‘why’ has pulled me through many natural obstacles as I have diligently edited and revised the book from stream-of-consciousness first draft to final-version.
Stepping into the unknown, stretching the comfort-zone, it is necessary. It is required. It is not comfortable. But comfort isn’t a good indicator. Flow is.
Divinely-guided flowing energy. That burst of knowingness when we are doing the soulful thing. That is the best indicator. That is the way to follow.
Even if it fills me with butterflies. Even if it fills my eyes with tears. Even through the fear, doubt, hope, and thrill. I will keep moving forward. I will keep following that call. I will meet my nerves with tenderness and appreciation. I will do all that over and over again. Because to grow is always better than to stay comfortable with the pain of stagnation.
I hope you choose growth. I hope you get uncomfortable with being stuck and begin to stretch. Why? Because we need you. We need your gifts and service in the world.
The call of your soul will not stop.
It will not stop singing to you. The only response is to answer. To grow. To do the scary new thing. To follow your call. It is why you’re here.
And there is no better day than today.