March has been a turbo, jetpack of a month for me. The creative ideas have been coming fast and furious and I have willingly surrendered to the amazingness. YogaReiki (now a thing), meditation courses based on my book material, a new practitioner space, book writing, blogging, essential oil meditation, teaching Reiki. It is a really cool space to be, the the centre of my vortex of goodness.
Not a ‘fear’ scary, but a sense of being on what Abraham calls the ‘raw and ragged edge’ of expansion. I really don’t know what is around the bend. I cannot possibly see what is in store for me. I get the sense that it is BIG. Amazing. Phenomenal. I feel it.
It is like the feeling of gravity. The subtle acknowledgement of the pull of the moon on the ocean. Swooping the tide, massively, from shore to shore.
It feels exposing. Real. Honest. Like the fresh air truth brings. But deeper into the heart. Like a soul-filling song, sung from the inside. From the heart.
Part of me is timid. That part wants to know and predict and have guarantees. But mostly, I just want to throw my arms wide and rush in, heart first.
Getting to this point, being able to tell the difference between true fear and the vulnerable edge of growth, has taken me almost 20 years of personal and spiritual work. It is a process. I am in progress.
Now I know the difference. True fear leads you away from actual danger. You know in your heart something is not right, but you stay (or go) anyway. Usually just to be polite. That is fear.
Vulnerability pops up when you are moving out of your comfort zone, towards a life expanding and enhancing experience. You know in your heart, it is right for you. It is a magnetic, resonant pull. Vulnerability is good. It means you are growing. Doing what you mean to, not what you should.
That nervous feeling can be breathed through. Just like a contraction. It rolls on through, right over top of you, and on the other side is courage. The arms flung wide in victory moment you are fearing will never come.
Move toward your vulnerability. Arms open. It is the best way to receive.